


The perfect gift for everyone

by I_hate_mages_No_you_dont



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/F, Fenders, Fluff, Lyriumchristmas, M/M, Presents, Satinalia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 15:54:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8923285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_hate_mages_No_you_dont/pseuds/I_hate_mages_No_you_dont
Summary: Merrill discovers the tradition of giving presents at Satinalia. And over the years excels in the art of finding just the right thing for everyone. Though the process to get there and make everyone happy is not as easy.(by kittenmage)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out a lot longer than expected. I hope you can follow the jumps through time. I’ve been sick for days and my brain still feels like marshmellows. Enjoy Merrill being sweet and caring! And have a lovely Christmas/Yule/Satinala yourself! lot's of love <3

Satinalia was approaching fast. Only a few days left. But Merrill was in no hurry. Unlike all her friends who were scouting the market for presents she had wrapped up her gifts this morning.

The customs of the human world were still fairly new to her. Even after some years in the company of Marian Hawke and her illustrious group of friends, some things still made no sense to the former Dalish elf. Satinalia was an exception from that rule. A holy season of being together and giving presents to your loved ones was exactly Merrill’s idea of a holiday.

In her first year in the alienage, she hadn’t known about it. And had been all the more surprised when the other elves and apparently Kirkwall as a whole had started to hang garlands of green branches and red berries everywhere. There had been more candles than any other time of the year and a lot of strangers and merchants had been unusually nice to her. At first Merrill had attributed the change of behaviour and decoration to the darkest time of year. Maybe people in the cities wanted to have something green and more light in their life in a time with less daylight and longer and colder nights. It was still nothing to a Ferelden winter! But as Varric had assured her, it would never get colder than around the time of the winter solstice. After a week of enjoying the pretty garlands and candles and little stars some had hung in their windows, Hawke had showed up at Merrill’s house, shoving a messily wrapped package into the hands of the perplexed elf. “Happy Satinalia, Merrill!”

As Merrill had stared back in confusion and awe at the unexpected gift, realization dawned on Hawke’s face. “Of course… you’re Dalish. You don’t know!” A short laughter followed by an explanation finally managed to sooth the puzzled frown and Merrill could barely contain her glee. “You got a gift!! For me! That means I am your friend? Oh Hawke!” At that she had flung herself at the human mage. Hawke had blushed slightly.

Later the same night at the Hanged Man. Merrill realized that Hawke had gotten presents for everyone. Just something small, as she couldn’t afford more, but the smile and gratitude on their friends faces warmed even Merrill. Especially with Fenris and Anders. They both rarely smiled. Always troubled by their own thoughts. But in that moment they both just uttered a whispered “thank you” and stared at their respective presents. And that was when Merrill realized that she had nothing for any of them.

Merrill felt miserable at failing her friends. But gift giving as she understood it, was normally done on the first day of Satinalia and she didn’t want to do something wrong. Maybe it would even be considered rude to gift something the days after? Almost as soon as she was home, Merrill went for one of her notebooks and opened it on the first page. “Satinalia presents” was the new headline, followed by the names of her friends separated by a bit of free space so she could write down ideas for future gifts.

A few months later the lists under the names got so long, Merrill had to turn the page to have more room for present ideas. Every time one of the others made a remark of missing some vital ingredient for a potion (in Anders case), having torn her favourite headscarf (for Isabela) or just missing coloured ink to test some illustrations (for Varric), Merrill had made first a mental and then a real note. There were at least twenty ideas each, some of them crossed out, as Merrill kept track of what her friends bought or got fthemselves. Some things – like whetstones for Fenris – stayed on the list. The warrior was running out of them continuously so Merrill was sure that even if he didn’t need a whetstone at the time of Satinalia he surely would soon after.

By the time the green garlands were spinning like a living being all over the houses in the Alienage again, Merrill was prepared to get the gifts for her friends. She had already bought a pretty new red scarf for Hawke, when something interrupted her excitement.

It was another card night. The group had been drinking and both Anders and Fenris had been grumpier than usual. Maybe, Merrill thought, they still had no Satinalia gifts for their friends and were just distraught at not having a good idea? She was about to make a few suggestions when the fighting began. Normally bickering stopped at a few sarcastic remarks but tonight they exploded. Insults where flung at each other, followed by fists. Soon they had to be dragged away from each other, Hawke trying to calm Anders with Varric’s help and Aveline held Fenris in a tight grip. Merrill took Aveline’s silence as her cue to try and speak to Fenris. She didn’t get far.

“I don’t need your advice blood mage! Not that or anything! From anyone!” The elf phased out of Aveline’s hold and ran for the door. Not long after Anders followed swearing and cursing about the stupidity of elves.

In the silence that followed Merrill’s heart sank. Fenris still saw her as nothing more than a blood mage? Even after two years?! And Anders thought elves were stupid? Or was he just talking about Fenris?… Still. She slumped down in her seat, her face buried in her arms and started crying. That was not how she had expected the evening or Satinalia to go. She had thought… had hoped that her friends… well, saw her as a friend as well. “Hey…” A soothing voice reached Merrill’s ears and she peaked up. It was Hawke. “It’s not your fault. They’ve been like that all day. We were attacked by blood mages summoning demons by sacrificing slaves. Worst situation possible, really…” Marian gently brushed through Merrill’s hair. “It’s not your fault they are haunted by their past! It definitely isn’t Merrill.” Hawke smiled. Merrill smiled back.

So even if Anders and Fenris wouldn’t except a gift from her. Hawke would… And maybe Carver, Isabela, Varric, and Aveline would like something, too.

And who knew. Maybe if Merrill tried harder to make Fenris and Anders see that she was a nice blood mage, they would see her as a friend next year. Yes! By the creators, maybe she hadn’t tried hard enough yet. Merrill knew little of what had happened to Fenris and dreaded Anders’ tales of the circle. But if only a fraction of it was true, she could understand why they were so angry. And so sad. But the Dread Wolf might take her if she gave up trying to make them smile! At least once!

Satinalia had passed. Varric, Aveline, Isabela, Carver and Hawke had showered her with compliments for her thoughtful gifts and Merrill was pleased with herself. Though there had been no sign of either healer nor warrior at the dinner they shared. 

The following year had brought some changes. Merrill couldn’t tell if they were good or bad, but at some point after another strange shouting match between Anders and Fenris, their bickering had stopped. Completely. On missions they didn’t speak more than “pass me the water” or “I’ll take the first watch” and during card night, they were entirely silent. At midsummer, Hawke had thought that it was a phase and that it would pass. But as autumn morphed into the mild winter of the Free Marches, they still didn’t interact more than was absolutely necessary. Hawke was so bewildered by that and the fact that she got no satisfying answer from either of them, that she started to spend more time at Merrill’s. Which Merrill didn’t mind. Not at all. She liked Hawke. She liked Hawke a great deal. She was kind and funny and didn’t criticize her for her magic. Merrill knew she didn’t like blood magic, but assumed that Hawke would accept her as she was as long as she wouldn’t do anything bad.

Satinalia was coming closer again, Merrill had decided to bake Dalish cookies for her friends and neighbours in the Alienage and Hawke helped. Or said she was helping, when in reality she just kept on stealing the dough and made a terrible mess with the flour. But Merrill didn’t mind. Instead of going on to blunder her way through the kitchen, Hawke kept Merrill entertained with the latest preparations for the expedition into the Deep Roads. They finally had enough coin to satisfy Bartrand’s expectations and as soon as winter was gone, they would head out to find the old dwarven thaig. Marian could barely hide her excitement. And Merrill smiled at that. Hawke was rarely excited these days. Her relationship with Carver got more difficult every day. Still she wanted him to accompany her to the Deep Roads, though. “We earned the money together, so I have to take him with me. Also, I can’t protect him, if I’m away…” That had been Hawke’s answer when Merrill asked who she would take with her. “I can’t take Fenris anyway, as I need Anders. We have to get a healer on our expedition and I know no one who’s better than him. I’m definitely rubbish at healing.” Hawke had chuckled at that and Merrill joined her. It was true. “Fenris won’t go where Anders goes… And Varric will come with us of course. It’s his brother’s idea after all.” It made Merrill a bit sad, that she wasn’t going to be part of the team. But she said nothing. The elf just hoped that Carver, Anders and Varric would keep Hawke safe.

“Oh your cookies look so good, Merrill!” A few hours later and Merrill’s small home was filled with the sweet smell of spiced cookies. Hawke was eying the display on the table hungrily. “They are not for you Hawke! You’ll get something else for Satinalia!” A tiny pout was on Hawke’s lips, but she said no more.

Satinalia came and they were all gathered at the Hanged Man again. This time with Fenris and Anders. Merrill proudly handed out her presents. She had tried to find something even better than the year before. But despite her best efforts still wasn’t sure if Anders and Fenris would accept a real present from her. So, while everyone else was busy unwrapping their gifts, Merrill placed two big bundles of cookies in front of Anders and Fenris. Their reactions were quite similar. Wide eyes had met Merrill’s as they reached for the soft bundle and stared at it in disbelief. “Happy Satinalia!”, she chirped and went away.

Merrill wasn’t sure if they liked the cookies or would even eat them. But at least she had tried. And she would try harder! “Next year at Satinalia”, she mumbled sleepily when she lay in her bed that night, “next year they will get a real present. No matter how stubborn they are!”

Stubborn maybe was the right word. Merrill didn’t understand the details of the situation, but the moment Hawke and the others had left for the expedition Fenris had disappeared. Aveline discovered it, as she wanted to pay him a visit and found the old mansion empty, the elf and his weapon gone. Isabela said something about “running after Hawke to protect his love”, at which she giggled. Merrill didn’t. She hadn’t payed much attention to Fenris and Hawke together but... Surely she would have seen it if there had been something between them? Hawke was with her so often, she would have said something. Wouldn’t she?

Isabela’s words proved right in a slightly different way, when their friends returned after weeks without any message or note. Bartrand who turned up earlier and alone hadn’t answered any of her questions. Not even Aveline could get an answer from the dwarf. But now they were back.

Tears still streaming down Hawke’s face at the sight of everyone gathered at her home. Carver was gone. A darkspawn attack had left him wounded with an infection that even Anders couldn’t cure. The only salvation for him was joining the Grey Wardens. Leandra held her eldest daughter close, wordlessly crying for the loss of yet another child. And Merrill stood there completely helpless. The distraction from the pain had unexpectedly come from Anders and Fenris. Their months of ignoring each other had apparently been caused by something different than hate. If the close proximity of elf and mage didn’t give it away instantly the comforting hand on Anders shoulder did, as the healer tried to explain the situation to Leandra and apologized over and over again for not saving Carver in another way. Merrill’s emotions were a mess of grief and sadness and joy and happiness at seeing Hawke again.

The weeks after the return from the deep roads had smoothed the confusion. Fenris and Anders were exposed to continuous teasing through Isabela and Varric, though they accepted it silently, while Merrill saw them exchanging small smiles at card night. And Hawke. Hawke had not been in love with either of them after all. After the first letter from Carver arrived at the newly reclaimed Amell estate baring the seal of the Grey Wardens, Hawke had calmed down. And found her way to Merrill’s place again. 

Hawke now spend even more time with Merrill. They were, as Merrill understood it, together. The Dalish elf couldn’t believe her luck. And as some weeks later Anders and Fenris suddenly started to speak to her just as casually as with everyone else, her happiness inflated beyond reason.

So this year for Satinalia, she could finally get presents for all the people that were important to her. For all her friends and family. Because somehow they had all turned into something more than friends. And as everyone else was still busy with preparations Merrill finished the last stich on the hood for Fenris. The other elf had been complaining about the rain and snow for weeks. It had been colder than usual this year. As Merrill learned from Varric that Tevinter didn’t even have winter at all, Merrill resolved on making a thick and water-repellent hood for Fenris. Something he could wear in a fight without getting tangled up with his sword but still kept him warm and dry. Anders would get a pair of gloves. Merrill had managed to get her hands on a bit of rare wool, that she remembered the healer of her clan using in winter. They had said that some fabrics and leather would disrupt healing magic. Which had explained Anders’ cold fingers, that Merrill witnessed herself, when she caught a cold and needed his help. And she would be cursed if she didn’t do something against that!

The presents for the rest of their group were equally self-made and Merrill couldn’t be prouder of herself. She really hoped they would like it. Because for the first time in years, Merrill was truly happy. And if not through talking she wanted to convey with her presents how much she valued the friendship and love she got from everyone.

This year was marked by their first Satinalia in the big dining hall of Hawke’s estate. Everything was decorated with garlands and ribbons and so many candles, Merrill couldn’t count them. It looked magnificent and wonderful. She couldn’t tell Hawke with a thousand kisses how beautiful it was.

Everyone was there. Even Carver. Apparently the Wardens were on the way through Kirkwall and he was allowed to stop by. Hawke later said Carver had made that up and that he really had invented a mission to see his family. Merrill didn’t know what to believe. And didn’t care, as long as everyone was there!

Merrill’s gifts were highly anticipated by everyone. After four years, everyone was speculating about how she would try to outdo herself this time and they weren’t disappointed. Everyone loved their gifts, loved her ideas for the others and as Anders smiled broadly and hugged her to say thank you, followed by a sincere smile and “Thank you” from Fenris, the night was perfect. Merrill had finally managed to make everyone happy. To be happy herself. She blinked in surprise as she received two small packages back. A tiny amulet from Fenris “against demons” as he muttered and a small pot of a thick balm that smelled strongly of elfroot and something sweet “against your scars”.

The tiny Dalish was at a loss. Happy tears running down her face. Hawke wrapped her in a gentle hug and Merrill stayed there. For almost the entirety of Satinalia. Because the holiday was about friendship and love! And Merrill felt never more loved than in these days.


End file.
